Christmas and Other

This Christmas was good. We actually got to go home this year and really enjoyed it, but at the same time it was really hard. I had a lot of dreams about this Christmas when we started this process and they are all dashed. When I realized that Clay wouldn't be home for Christmas I started planning a Christmas party when he came home, but now knowing that he won't even be home for his First Birthday that just let me know that no one knows when he will be home. So the plan now on the basis we get out of PGN this time for good is we will come home and celebrate his First Birthday at home, too. If not out of PGN by first of February we will somehow find a way to go visit. If we are out of PGN then we will have to wait till pick up. We are required by our attorney to stay at one certain hotel for visit trips and in order to do that it requires a lot of money as it is a 5 star place that costs more than I have ever paid per night for a place to sleep. At the start of this process we planned on using our flight benefits to fly back and forth to Guatemala City but flying standby isnt working as there are no flights coming back and one way tickets are more expensive than roundtrip confirmed. So, we are working hard to save for another visit trip. The hardest part is leaving without Clay. So far, I have been able to pull myself together and is taking longer each time, but I just don't know if I can handle that again. It is like pulling the heart out stomping on it and then stuffing it back in with no pain killers or anything. It hurts REALLY bad. It takes a lot of tears, alot of praying, alot of everything to handle an international adoption. Right now, we are hanging on by a thread. We are still creeping to the top of this mountain. I mean major creeping the kind you get when you have the pedal to the metal and the transmission is staying into first gear and the hill is almost to the point of needing four a wheeler and the engine is grinding and creaking with like it is trying to pull a loaded semi that is way over weight up Donners Pass. We are sitting in this car hanging on to the security bar with all our might and white knuckled listening to the creak and grunts of the engine and transmission pulling with all its might to reach the top. Please be praying that is all you can do for us!!!!!!!! Please, do, we need it!!!!!!!

My friend Anna has had her DNA at the US Embassy since the 19th and still she has not received her Pink Slip. She really dont know what to do as most times you have it within a week after DNA is received at the Embassy and now that they send that through email they say not to contact them. This is so messed up. She is worried they have her email wrong and they are going to pass her by and she so wants her son home soon. Please, be praying it comes soon!!!!! He is legally her son and is waiting on the US Only!!!!!! They need to get her son home to her!! Please be praying!!!!!!!

Other than all this, life is continuing and we are trying to enjoy each others time as we know that soon we will be three, but it is really hard when all WE want is Clay home!!