Christmas and Other

This Christmas was good. We actually got to go home this year and really enjoyed it, but at the same time it was really hard. I had a lot of dreams about this Christmas when we started this process and they are all dashed. When I realized that Clay wouldn't be home for Christmas I started planning a Christmas party when he came home, but now knowing that he won't even be home for his First Birthday that just let me know that no one knows when he will be home. So the plan now on the basis we get out of PGN this time for good is we will come home and celebrate his First Birthday at home, too. If not out of PGN by first of February we will somehow find a way to go visit. If we are out of PGN then we will have to wait till pick up. We are required by our attorney to stay at one certain hotel for visit trips and in order to do that it requires a lot of money as it is a 5 star place that costs more than I have ever paid per night for a place to sleep. At the start of this process we planned on using our flight benefits to fly back and forth to Guatemala City but flying standby isnt working as there are no flights coming back and one way tickets are more expensive than roundtrip confirmed. So, we are working hard to save for another visit trip. The hardest part is leaving without Clay. So far, I have been able to pull myself together and is taking longer each time, but I just don't know if I can handle that again. It is like pulling the heart out stomping on it and then stuffing it back in with no pain killers or anything. It hurts REALLY bad. It takes a lot of tears, alot of praying, alot of everything to handle an international adoption. Right now, we are hanging on by a thread. We are still creeping to the top of this mountain. I mean major creeping the kind you get when you have the pedal to the metal and the transmission is staying into first gear and the hill is almost to the point of needing four a wheeler and the engine is grinding and creaking with like it is trying to pull a loaded semi that is way over weight up Donners Pass. We are sitting in this car hanging on to the security bar with all our might and white knuckled listening to the creak and grunts of the engine and transmission pulling with all its might to reach the top. Please be praying that is all you can do for us!!!!!!!! Please, do, we need it!!!!!!!

My friend Anna has had her DNA at the US Embassy since the 19th and still she has not received her Pink Slip. She really dont know what to do as most times you have it within a week after DNA is received at the Embassy and now that they send that through email they say not to contact them. This is so messed up. She is worried they have her email wrong and they are going to pass her by and she so wants her son home soon. Please, be praying it comes soon!!!!! He is legally her son and is waiting on the US Only!!!!!! They need to get her son home to her!! Please be praying!!!!!!!

Other than all this, life is continuing and we are trying to enjoy each others time as we know that soon we will be three, but it is really hard when all WE want is Clay home!!

We are back in!!

It was a really short kick out for which I am very thankful and now the official wait begins. We were re-submitted December 21,2008. Everyone please be praying we get signed out for good sooner than later. We are ok. we are both just hurting REALLY bad. On top of that my cold turned into bronchitis. Eight weeks is February 15,2008. Clay will be one year and one day and still a 4-6 week wait left to go. Please pray for a miracle that he could still be home before his 1st birthday. With God anything is possible.


The skies are gray
The city is covered in a thick fog
The colors are blended into one
The traffic continues
We stand still staring
Our hearts are bleeding
Hope is dwindling
Our arms ache
They are still empty
Our eyes run
Like a leaky faucet
Someday seems a million miles away
God is hurting with us and close by

Someday will come and hope will begin to grow
The skies will turn a brighter blue, slowly
The city will stand up straight and tall
The colors will begin to separate
Traffic will once again fly with rhythm
And we will begin to move forward again
Our hearts will remain broken for a time
Our arms will become full with the little one we hold dear
Our tears will become tears of joy and happiness
Someday will come in time
God is in control and will bring our son home

Someday will come and the heavens will shine as bright as the sunniest day
The city will ring its bells
Colors will pop
Time will go quickly
Our hearts will mend
Our arms will be overflowing
Our tears will dry and smile
God is answering our prayer in His time.

written by Carolyn

Well, our rollercoaster made it through a 6 week wait of corkscrews, freefalls and flips to come to a brief halt once again in the valley. It is repaired now and beginning a VERY slow, creaking climb to the top to begin once again towards home. Please be praying for a miracle that this ride towards home will come to a stop sooner than later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venting after getting Bad News

Well, things aren't going as well as I wanted or thought they would. I came home Wednesday sick and wanting to hear good news as Tuesday is Christmas and yesterday I thought we got it. We called PGN and were told we were on the the third reviewer's desk awaiting final signature and so as to verify told our agency so she could check. We were on the third reviewer's desk, alright, but all we received was a big fat Kick Out. For a statement that says we are going to treat the child we adopt as we would our biological child. My word what do they think?? This whole process is hell and I wouldn't dare be going through it if it wasnt for a child of my own. Why is it so hard for people to believe that a person would actually raise another woman's biological child to be able to have a child to love, care for and nurture? Children are a gift from God and it doesn't matter whether biologically or born in the heart they are a gift and a gift needs to be cared for and loved. We will be re-submitted tomorrow with the correct statement and out around February 15. That is 8 weeks from tomorrow and the day after Clay's first birthday. Don't these people care that we want our son home. Instead they keep coming up with any reason just to do it and keep us in longer. I dont care if anyone thinks I am complaining. I don't care right now what anyone thinks. I am hurt. I was hoping and praying we were getting out of PGN and able to come home sooner than later. I was really believing would happen but it isnt to be. God opened this door and for some reason he is letting us go through more than I ever thought would happen. We have had delay after delay along each step and now we get in PGN and that continues. We have started this process by being delayed by USCIS and then before being approved just to adopt from another country I am put on the phone with a reviewer who interrogates me as to why I am adopting? Why I just dont have a baby? Why not domestic? Why not wait till back to GA? This has never been heard of before but it happens to me. Some of those questions were already addressed in the home study and that is where info is supposed to come. Then the next step was first DNA Authorization was delayed cause one person was paid to do a job and didnt do it and had to be redone by someone else. My birth certificate was lost in translation. My cousin died. Then Pre-Approval takes a long time and PGN kicks me out twice. I have been patient. I have waited and not complained. I have just tried to go with the waves but now I am tired. I am hurting. I was wanting my child home in my arms forever. I have went and seen him and taken care of him 100% twice and given him back when all I wanted to do was hold onto him forever. And each day that goes by and he isnt home he is growing more and more and now not even to be able to be home for his first birthday!!!! No one in my family understands they have kids they have had since the day they were delivered and came home or they came home so fast they have no clue what real life adoptions are. They dont know what it is like and yet for that short time always going on and on about how hard it is. Well it is my turn but I cant. All I know is this has taken my heart out stomped on it once more and returned it to say now take it and wait. We have you and you are at our mercy. Still no matter how this sounds it still doesn't come close to say how we feel!!!!!!! Nothing can!!!!
The only things I can find thankful about this process so far is that our son is safe with a family that loves him very much, we are getting re-submitted to PGN quickly and well, that is it!!! Please, God, bring Clay home soon!!!!!!!

Please be praying this is the hardest yet!!!!!!!

REALLY busy week!

I am not sure where to start but will start with the beginning I guess and hit all the highlights. Thursday, December 13, I flew to Alabama to spend time with Mom and Dad and meet a friend that is also using our agency to adopt her daughter. Well, anyways, I got to Atlanta airport to find out from Matt that we had gotten new pictures and except for Dad letting me lock up wouldn't have got to see them. He is now 19.5 lbs and 30.30 inches long and standing up some. He is growing so fast. Please, God, let him come home soon!!!! Friday, December 14, I met Elizabeth from our group in Douglasville and we had a blast talking and getting to know each other. I really enjoyed it!!! I got back to Mom and Dad's to find out that Anna's DNA had reached Labcorp in NC. YIPPEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Saturday, December 15, we had my baby shower and I got a lot of really cool stuff. A baby swing for Clay, the Diaper Genie II I wanted with a filter, some outfits, books, baby gate, babyproofing stuff, bath toys and tons of other things. It was a small gathering of my friends and family. My best friend, Becky, and my youngest sister, Deborah, hosted it. I had so much fun and is something I will never forget. After the shower we celebrated, my youngest nephew, Jacob's 5th birthday whose birthday was on the 13th. Sunday, Matt flew into Atlanta and Monday morning we went home to Georgia for a night. We had stuff to take care of there and then back to Mom and Dad's, after a flat tire adventure, in time to celebrate my Grandma Key's 90th birthday. I saw family for the first time in years and we had a good night and my grandmother seemed to, also, and in good spirits for the first time in a few days. Today we got back to St Louis after an uneventful flight, though, I can't say the same for getting to our gate in time. I arrived in St Louis, I am thinking with a cold but will be here until Sunday. Then home for Christmas and back sometime Wednesday because we have to drive as no way get on standby flight this time of year.


For those I told that PGN was being called I will give an update later as waiting for a verification on information. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! be praying the information is correct!!!!!!!!!! Kristi got into PGN on December 13th and just found out today. I am so happy for her. Oh yeah, before I forget, Anna verified that DNA results arrived at US Embassy in Guatemala, today. Praying for a very fast pink slip as that is what the US Embassy does with these results. That slip is the appt date for her Visa appt and pick up trip!!! Congratulations Kristi and Anna and Elizabeth as 2nd DNA was done today and being sent to Labcorp in NC!! I am now caught up on all the news I have to offer and please be praying!!!! All I want for Christmas is to be out of PGN and Clay legally our son!!!!! I am also posting new pictures.

Updates

On Friday, Anna had her 2nd DNA done and when calling to check to see if Labcorp had received the specimen she was told they didn't have it. Upon calling our agency she found out that the receipt saying been paid was lost and not found till today so today is when the specimen is being overnighted to Labcorp in NC. This has once again delayed their bringing their son home. Her son not just in her heart but legally, also. Please be praying this is a VERY short delay and that overnighting it is literally meaning overnight.

On Saturday, Kristi received her pre-approval and should be hearing she is in PGN any day now!! Thank you so much for all your prayers.

Today, Guatemalan Congress voted on the adoption law and approved it. Thank God it does include a grandfather clause that will allow all "in process" cases to continue under present system. We do not, however, know what "in process" is. This will not be known for a couple more weeks to come. We are hoping and praying it is what was considered "in process" when this same battle was fought in 2003 and that is a registered Power of Attorney (POA). Please continue to pray not just for those still in a state of not knowing but for Guatemala.

As of today, we are still on the second reviewers desk!! No news is good news. Please be praying we get signed out soon. We miss our little boy so VERY much!!!!

A True Story

The other night, Matt and I were able to meet with another adoptive parent from our agency and a friend of hers. They were staying in town overnight to be at the airport the next morning to leave for a visit trip. We had a really good time. We went out to eat and just spent the time talking and getting to know each other. All went really well, that is until we got ready to leave. I got up and I have this really bad habit of having a glass of tea or something wherever I am and as we left I was drinking my Dr Pepper when we were leaving. Everything was going great and I went to get into the car when I realized I still had my drink. How embarassing. I had to go return it. I have started to do that before, but Matt always seemed to realize it before we left the restaurant, until now that is. Oh well. We had fun even laughing about that.

Fast forward to today and Anna has had the 2nd DNA test done. The test should be to Labcorp on Monday and Results ready and overnighted to the Embassy on Thursday or so and the Pink Slip 24 hours later if all goes smoothly.

Kristi is in Guatemala visiting with her daughter and is waiting on Pre-Approval from the US Embassy please be praying she receives it soon so she can enter PGN as she has been out of Family Court for awhile now.

For those following our journey and praying for us come Tuesday, December 11, is the vote for the new law. I do know it includes a grandfather clause, but we don't have any clue what that grandfather clause will mean to the over 4000 cases in progress. There are alot rumors running rampant over what that means and at this time we have no clue if any are true. I am not posting anything I have read until I know facts because rumors just cause distress and I dont want that I just want to know what we are all facing. PLEASE continue praying as the rumors are scary for a lot of people. Please be praying that our case and any one else in PGN gets out and that the people waiting for PA receives there's soon. REALLY soon. Mostly just please be praying for us adoptive parents, the Guatemalan Government and ours that oversees this process that decisions will be made for the good of us, them and the kids this effects. Thank you for your continual prayers. Now, if you look after this you will see a picture from the other night. It is Matt and I and Kristi. Left to Right.

All I Want For Christmas IS.........

my two front teeth. No scratch that: I WANT our son signed out of PGN so we can bring him home. Well, for anyone interested that is what I want for Christmas. Will we get it? Possible. Likely? I have no clue anymore. There is no rhyme or reason to PGN. There is alot I could post here, but no words to express it, at least, in a way that avoid sounding like I am complaining so I will say nothing more about this process for us other than PLEASE be praying for us for strength to continue waiting!!

Now on to some good news. Anna got her Orange Slip (2nd DNA Authorization) from the US Embassy, today, and the DNA test will be taken tomorrow. Then on to waiting again. Waiting for Pink Slip from the embassy, which is their visa appointment today. While they wait for this the DNA test will be being overnighted to Labcorp here in the US and then tested and results overnighted to the Embassy where they will record the results and once confirmed a match will issue the Pink Slip. This will take 7-10 days at the longest, but please pray for shorter length of time. The appointment date is usally one week from Pink Slip date.

Last night we met another adoptive parent from our agency and enjoyed it. I will give more details later. Well, I hope you all have a good night. I will update more later.

She Got It!!!!!!!!!!

Anna got her baby's passport today!!!!!!!! Now to get 2nd DNA Authorization tomorrow!!!!!!!
I am excited for her. By the way, our friend, Jaimee also got her baby's passport today and will be submitted for 2nd DNA Authorization, tomorrow. Congratulations, you two.

A Hard Week!!

I will post more about us in awhile but right now if you read nothing else, please be praying for Mary and Phil. Today would have been there Embassy appt and instead of going for pick up they are greiving the unexpected death of their precious, precious daughter.

Update with Anna: She received the final signature of the birthmom and amended birth certificate. We are hoping she received her baby's passport today and will be submitted to the US Embassy tomorrow for 2nd DNA Authorization. We should know tomorrow whether or not she got the passport or not.

There is nothing new here. We are still on the 2nd reviewers desk and that in itself is good news. It means that we are still in PGN and waiting for Mr Barrios' signature to let us out. Please be praying we are out of PGN before the end of the year!!! I don't mean to sound selfish or anything but I just want to be able to bring our son home soon. We miss him so much.

I am going to now post a short video. I hope you enjoy. It is one I took on this last visit.

In this video, Clay and I had fallen asleep and Matt shot the video. I dont know when Matt fell asleep but I know Matt and I woke up about the same time and just talked and stuff till Clay woke up. It is going to be hard to not stay quiet and just go about with normal everyday things when he comes home. We have been told if we keep quiet he will be a light sleeper and we need to do everyday things so not an extremely light sleeper when he grows up. We found out later that not every noise did wake him and we could do some normal stuff and not be totally quiet.

Y'all have a good night and I will write more later. Please be praying for all of us adoptive parents and for our son's country and the results of the adoption law being voted on today or next Tuesday.

Anna is OUT of PGN!!!!!

If y'all remember in my last post I asked for y'all to pray for Anna to be out of PGN soon with Pablo as they had been in since May and................ YOUR PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED. ANNA IS OUT!!!!!!! I was extremely happy for them as they have been waiting so very long. Now please be praying that she has a speedy process to her Pink Slip (US Embassy appt ) and the date they will be home forever with their son. She is on the home stretch. The next few steps are the birthmother's fourth and final signature, amended birth certificate, Guatemalan passport, DNA authorization from US Embassy to get 2nd DNA done, DNA results overnighted to Embassy and then the email notifying her of their Embassy appt. This time frame is usually 4-6 weeks and in some cases happen quicker but not often.



On our journey to Clay we are on the 2nd reviewers desk as of November 22nd. As long as their are no more previos (kick outs) we should be on his desk for approximately 6 weeks then on to the third reviewer, Mr. Barrios. Mr. Barrios is the one that give final signature and sign us out of PGN. We are entering the holiday season and during this time things slow down drastically. There is no telling when we will exit PGN and be able to post our OUT but I am sure everyone of y'all will hear that I am out before I post. We REALLY excited about being signed out and also a little leary that we could get another Kick out and have to begin all over once again. Please be praying for us as we continue what feels to be a VERY difficult time of waiting. In the last few weeks I have been working on painting letters for Clay's name and putting a puzzle together that is too big for the puzzle mat I have and needed to finish before he came home so wouldn't want to eat the puzzle pieces. I have finished them both and now on to working on Clay's lifebook, the Foster Mother's book and putting binding on a rug that I think I am goind to do as a hanging. So hopefully this help keeps me busy. Plus, I am having a baby shower on the 15th. That is going to be like really cool. I am going to put together a slideshow that can be played at the shower. That way those that dont check my blog that comes and those that haven't seen the pictures can see them, too. Then as soon as can get everything ready will post some pics of the Christmas Care Package I am sending. Well, please continue to pray. We need all the prayers people are willing to say as the wait is difficult. Below you will see the pics of the puzzle I completed and the finished letters.